Pondering the Future

Have you ever just sat there pondering the future? Lately it seems to be what I do most often. I wonder things that are soon to happen, things such as what grade I will receive on my chemistry test, what exams I will be exempt from, or what am I going to do this afternoon. I wonder about things in the near future, things like senior year and college applications. I wonder about what it will be like to be a college student and make all my own decisions. One of the things I wonder most is after college. Who will I marry, what will my ministry be like, where will I live, will I have children (I wonder about this one quite a bit right now, almost to the point of worrying. With my cousin having difficulties with having children along with it running in my mother's side of the family, I wait anxiously to get the test results back to know if the same disease that flows in my cousin's blood so rapidly, also flows in me. I don't want it to. I never wanted children before, unless they were adopted, but lately I have been imagining a little girl with blonde ringlets like I used to have bouncing around in a green back yard.) I wonder what I will be doing 10 years from now, will I be married when I am almost 28 years old? Do I know the person already? Have I passed them in the hallways? I wonder what it will be like to grow old. I see my parents grow older each year, when I saw my Mimi I wondered what it will be like to live without them. So many questions won't pop out of my head.

I wonder....
I wonder....
I wonder....